Homogenisation period: 1 day
Last Updated - January 14th 2023 02:45

Bottle Caps

While other kids were lighting Kool's, I was poppin' Caps. I knew I should've quit. But dammit, you gotta understand… I’m a Bottle Caps junkie!

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While other kids were lighting Kool's, I was poppin' Caps. I knew I should've quit. But dammit, you gotta understand…
I’m a Bottle Caps junkie. You know, the little flavored sugar discs that no one can resist. Oh sure, it started out small beans. A free one from a dime store pusher. Wonka was his name. Maybe a Bottle Cap here or there on the way to school. That morphed into the theater-sized box in the alley behind the house. From there I had them hidden all over. My golf bag, my office, the glove compartment, my gun safe.
As everyone knows, the most coveted Bottle Cap is the root beer flavor. If you get one in a three pack, that’s pretty good. You get two you might as well go buy a lottery ticket. But three? That’s insane. Unheard of. Nothing short of the Red Sea parting type of miracle. But I’ve done it!
Of course the other Bottle Cap Junkies at work like Joey "I Hate Grape" Russo won’t believe me. They said it couldn’t be done. 
I’ve also managed to mix the Holy Grail of candies in a vape juice recipe, Root Beer Bottle Caps! They probably won’t believe that either.. But I know, and that’s all that matters. And since a mic drop is so 2017 I’ll just walk off into the sunset and yell, "Not today, life. Not today!"


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